MOTHER - one of many ... ...   My story starts somewhere April 2002 ... Until then, I am the mother of two children ... good son at top athlete, good student, married his first love from the school - after military service ... the daughter of 8 years younger ... good student, student (average 9.3) .... All normal, the only problem: When I get grandchild?? Then and in 2002. The son comes to me in the door of the apartment and simply says: "Mother I divorce - I am junkie and I want to withdraw, help me."   THAT'S BEGINNING OF MY STORIE   First, that I felt was disbelief, loud and silent countless questions: How, Why ?????? How do you not noted, why is not my sister-in-law signalized that there is a problem and countless overladen guesswork in trying to somehow justify your child that then has the 25th years .... I do not know about the disease and nothing about hell that has already been over my house ... now begin treatment with the Psychic in Valjevo. Of course, I felt a kind of shame - shame ... I have felt, briefly speaking poorly-helpless ... The first steps in the treatment starts anonymously .... last several months - however instinctly I feel that something is not to be ... My ignorance, not knowledge of diseases, just to cause .... The public voice and to pray for help ... All running from me ... I lost friends, lost work!! Stay alone with the father who has almost 8o years and sister in the maelstrom of abyss... start to knock on our door people whom owe money, threatening, police .... In the hope that it will all resolve treatment sell an apartment - which goes to debt dealers and others ... After two years with the resolve to take another kind of treatment ... I see that previous treatment does not result - only go down all the deeper and deeper ... Additional shock that the knowledge to the daughter starts to be using drugs .... We all recognize the fact ... both acknowledge, that normally speak in the house ... talking about what to sell in order to create a heroin ... I am helpless ... separate them so that my father goes to his son in an isolated house, a daughter stays with me and my sister ... I further treatment and therapy to psychiatry in Valjevo ... In addition to us three who cares on their every movement, keeping in view the given instructions, they still make or take the percentage and do not hide ... With all the enjoyment we speak, and I am without power - powerless, I just felt like mat which deleted your dirty procedures, pleasing to my sorrow - I see only two monster in the form and image of children born ... All the time leaving the family group, individual therapy to a psychiatrist in Valjevo. ... They are treated, and at the same time and using drugs ... Son of suicide attempts (barely saved his life) immediately after the same and is the daughter of .... All are the speed of light ... They went down, I with them, and next to me and the only two beings that help me: father and sister ....   After 3 years dementia (in the meantime I started to learn about the disease - I read all that was available, ask for data by the net, read experience) makes a decision ... I of course think that the right DECISION ....   Sale apartment and the other bringing them both in Miklošićevu (private clinic) in the treatment ... ... The rights of abstinence ... and I begin to face their disease and disease coadicts... .. It takes as much room in the clinic ... the daughter something successful - apstinated 1.5 year, son of 1 year ....   The recommendation of doctors is to remain in Belgrade with his son, a daughter goes in Valjevo and her caring my sister and my father .... Her progress in the treatment of flows better .... I am with my son again in the problem ... exhausted all financial resources, begin to work 12-13 hours per day to be able to pay for therapy in the clinic (suboxon) and of course the apartment and everything else ....   He makes recidive .... Do not stop ... starting to manipulate and everything else that I have gone several times ... in the meantime, the daughter marriages for school made - we thought a good boy, only later to the branch and dependent on ....   Hell starts again ... the vicious circle without of light ... I thought in some moments lost to reason, that my obsession is the disease my desire to heal, my persistence and stubbornness of their cause headlong fall ....   Re-Trace, reading experiences of other parents, various literature, are no longer relies not neurophysiology and therapists ... Over incorrect familiar to me now, dear person and friend from Canada - has the same problem .... It's been hell and I make decisions ... AGAIN ....   Leaving a son in Belgrade. Pay his rent for 1 month, since he worked that was a lot of me and back in Valjevo ... Of course, in Belgrade he was touching only the bottom of the bottom ... Losing a job, remains without accommodation, seek help from me ... I have the heart to the turret shooting, on every application I have a short match: treatment, with no alternative .... Even now I do not know how he lived almost a month without money, completely alone, on the streets of Belgrade .... After a month there is asking: "Takes me where you wish, I'd like to withdraw, i am dying! "I reacted very carefully - maybe it's another manipulation ... No money for the road to Valjevo, do not send him, shall be befallen how sleek for heroin ... Fortunately he sleek are coming in Valjevo and take it to the Center Black River... Currently he is in Loznica. For 2 years he had have 2 recidives .... I hope and believe ...   Daughter with her husband in theri madness ... She decides to be treated ... Divorse of husband and starts with the treatment ... again apstinated the 5th months ... ..   After all lived only thing I'm sure, to the parent must be a tyrant - must exclude emotions, to conclude the heart, if you want to help ... I know that it is difficult, but it is the only way ... I lost a lot of time, health and money just because I reacted rationally, that I am not able to accept the fact that I have two patients in the home, which suffer from terible disease, while I realized that my love can not help ... with mine concern I have only fed their disease, but at the same time i got seek .... When I interrupted every contact, silneced my heart, remove and let to the decision they make, light started to pierce in my life ....